Down to the Core

Scattered post, scattered life right now – in transition, halfway to somewhere, life in boxes, random observations.

At times like these, awareness has to be pulled in from the details, withdrawn from the chaos of the surroundings, and held safely in one’s core, or else sanity will be scattered to the winds.

Do you have any tricks to keep a focus, to stay grounded, to be centered, when all around you is swirling in a disorganized cloud?

I’ll write in list form – a structure to hang my life on right now:

  • Having a cell phone makes me feel like I have one thing under control, one thing that won’t change – even though I know this is an illusion, I cling to it like a rock in the rapids
  • My dear friend Teresa has offered to give me as a housewarming present the two plants I most want: a lavender and a rosemary to put beside the front steps.  When I think of the years of joy that will come from her gift of loving friendship, it gives me tear-filled relief.
  • I am constantly imagining how overwhelmed I will be to bring all this stuff from the old house and the storage unit to the new house, go through it all, be organized, develop a new relationship to stuff and cultivate a life of purposeful possession (as opposed to fearful hoarding, lazy squirreling, nostalgic clinging…)
  • The Habitat meetings and classes have got me so beyond freaked out about money.  The constant fearmongering reminds me of bringing home a premature infant hooked up to an apnea monitor, and how fear sucked the joy out of something that should have been beautiful.
  • March 30th may mark a new era on paper, but I am still me and I will still have the same struggles, neuroses, anxieties…

I don’t know that I will write again in this house.  I feel like can’t promise anything to anyone from this space in my head.  I am using this event as an excuse to break off my usual path, and I’m not entirely sure where the trail will pick up again. I cannot think, therefore I am not.

I realize this all sounds overly negative, but I actually feel pretty neutral.  Negative is still my default mode, I think.  Just trying to ground myself in words, and this is how they came out.  Thanks for reading, and please share your thoughts, experiences or philosophy about moving, space, chaos, the core of your being, or anything else you are inspired to contribute!

6 responses to “Down to the Core

  1. View the experience as a cleansing… make this the ultimate organizational tool of a lifetime… purge, splurge (on plastic bins and other organizational tools), and categorize BEFORE you move… LABEL,LABEL, LABEL… nothing worse than digging through box after box… even if every inch is covered with words! and make sure the movers or you can read clearly which room each box goes into… each room should have in it every box that belongs there.
    The more organized YOU are about the move… the more in control you will feel… it is late in the game (you are moving next week?) but not too late to do SOMETHING to improve the structure of the move!
    Most important, leave the most urgent and most used kitchen items to pack on the last morning in an extra large plastic bin (for me it was my espresso machine) and load that into your CAR not on the moving van.
    Same thing goes for your clothes and toiletries… pack a 4 day trip’s worth of clothing and toiletries into a suitcase as if you are going on a trip… that way you can take your time unpacking the clothing boxes!
    Good luck! And let me know if I can help with any more advice!
    I am SOOOOOOO happy for you!!!

  2. Thanks Adriana! It’s funny you mention boxes… I’ve been quite meticulous in labeling them this time. Instead of just “kit.” for kitchen I will also put “lo” “med” or “hi” for how much I use the stuff in it. I write a label on top and also in the top right corner of every side! 😀 I’m feeling very anal about it.

    Also, you win the awesome reader prize for being my 100th comment! Thanks for reading and joining in! 🙂

  3. Oh, we moved into our current house 11 years ago, and I’m still sorting out the ‘stuff’, and I haven’t even gone near the overflowing garage yet. I haven’t allowed it to stress me though, it’s like a metaphor for my life. I prioritise, refine, investigate, catalogue, discard. It’s an adventure.

    Do you have a website for the Habitat Housing venture? I don’t very much about it, and it sounds interesting.

    I know what you mean about the mobile phones. Both of my phones were dead the other day, and I had to go out. A brief moment of panic, as I realised I couldn’t be contacted if something happened to my boys, and that absolutely no-one knew where I was going.

    Remember to breathe and smile. Focusing on breathing and smiling helps me to remove fear. Fear has trouble residing in a smiling heart.

    We have a plant by our front verandah which has teeny tiny flowers that deliver the most delicious scent. It’s an Osmanthus Fragrans. I don’t know if you can grow it where you live but it is very hardy, and highly recommended.

    Best wishes for the move. It sounds like it is something you have been planning for a long while.

  4. I can just imagine how busy it must be and yet how exciting! A message from one of Georgia’s books that I really love …”Find a quiet place inside”. I personally have always thought of moving house (and countries) as a great time to start afresh.
    Keep looking forward and as Hakea says, breathe and smile….
    I look forward to reading your posts again, when you’re ready, I’ll be here.
    Have a great moving day.

  5. The Natural Parent

    I find moving a great chance to throw out lots of things you don’t really need anymore, so I think it can help to look at it like a cleansing and a chance to move on and change.

    As for staying grounded in the chaos, I’ll give you my secret for surviving and staying focused when everything is chaos (I used to do this when I worked in emergency departments as a nurse), just take one step at a time, work through that step and then think about the next step. If you jump ten steps ahead you will be amongst the chaos and stop thinking clearly (okay, not really a secret, but works for me). So when your packing a box, just think about what is going into that box and nothing else, every time one box is packed your one step closer to finishing.

  6. Thanks for all the comments, my dear readers!

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