Today I am empty

Drained of enthusiasm, inspiration, patience. My commitments wait with the aura of bottomless pits.  I do not wish to refill immediately; I’d rather have a day or two of silence, peace, to run my hands along the cold metallic walls of this hollowness.

But this wheel never stops spinning. The centrifugal force of it pulls me apart and flings all my plans and desires into outerspace. I want to stop the desperate clinging together, the feverish concentration on keeping my feet running exactly on the path.

Instead – to just float in random pieces for a bit. Weightless. Free.

I’m tired.

From somewhere, as always, I will pull the energy necessary to fulfill my basic duties. I know that ultimately, it does not matter how or why or who I am.

It will get done.

I will participate.

That is all.

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4 responses to “Today I am empty

  1. I feel like you have just spoken the words to how I have been feeling for weeks. I lack inspiration.

    Do one thing for yourself that you enjoy, and positivity will come back to you.

    • A bit less empty now that you are here with me! 🙂 Thanks.

      I suspect that positivity will come back no matter what, simply because cyclical movement from one pole to the other (good/bad, positive/negative, empty/full, however we choose to label them) is the way of things. But I appreciate your suggestion to do something I enjoy, even if it’s only to generate a brief spark of light in this darkness.

  2. These words aren’t exactly like my words, but I feel that I’ve been in similar places. Especially the idea of hollowness. I can’t think to add much except that I hear you.

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