Tag Archives: chores

No Satisfaction

When I was in the pre-teen/early teen years, I could always guarantee myself the most profound feeling of satisfaction by the end of the day, simply by completely a list of certain chores:

  1. Clean out dog’s pen, water and food dish.
  2. Clean out guinea pigs cages, water bottles, line their cages with fresh grass and give them a pile of pellets.
  3. Tidy, dust and vacuum my room.
  4. Launder my sheets then make my bed up nice.
  5. Take a shower.
  6. Organize my books by author or subject, or whatever my whim happened to be.

Mind you, these days were few and far between. But when I made it happen, I would lay in bed that night feeling completely and utterly fulfilled in my existence. I had set all right with the world.

I haven’t felt that in a long, long time.

Even on a day like today, when I’ve gotten so much done already (almost 4 p.m. now), it doesn’t matter. Before I fall asleep I’ll feel like the biggest failure, slacker, my to-do list still weighing me down.

So far today I’ve:

  1. Done a load of laundry.
  2. Run a load of dishes through the dishwasher (after having put away a load of clean ones).
  3. Watered front and back garden.
  4. Done some weeding, mulching and some trimming of bushes.
  5. Harvested some zucchini and cucumbers.
  6. Snaked out our shower drain (finally.)
  7. Hemmed my new work pants (finally.)
  8. Answered a work email.
  9. Taken the dog out several times, fed and watered him.
  10. Played games and puzzles with kids.
  11. Prepared and served breakfast, lunch and a snack.
  12. Wiped down counters and dining table.
  13. Made my bed.
  14. Changed Gwen about 5 times, two of which were poopy.

And probably some other stuff I’ve forgotten. Pretty typical day. I’m certainly not a failure or a slacker.

I just feel like one all the time.

I wonder if I can ever get back to where I can feel good about my day? When enough will once again feel like enough?

Priorities

Yesterday I cleaned my house (the front rooms, anyway) until it was sparkly. Then I hosted the homeowner’s association, of which I am the secretary and thus took all the notes.

I also made cookies and brownies.

I kept the children from bothering my husband, who was working at home all day in the study (writing.)

I paid a bunch of bills.

I spent a lot of time with the little ones, supervising their play outside, reading books, playing legos.

I fulfilled my duties at an online forum for which I am a moderator.

I walked and fed the dog, helped my husband edit his writing, made sure my daughter made it to the school dance, fixed a lovely lunch, and planted the fig tree my husband bought from the nursery.

Yesterday evening, my husband, who never makes a peep when the house is a complete wreck, which is most of the time, thoughtfully said, “The house looks amazing. It feels really comfortable.”

To which I responded, “Today was the first day all year that I didn’t write a blog post. When the house is clean, I’m not writing.”

And here I am today, before anyone wakes up, hoping I can get this last sentence in before the insanity starts.